DosFrend

1999 · MS-DOS · SupaBBoy

This Is Your DOSFREND! DosFrend is a loveable guy who's only purpose in life is to help you. he posesses the amazing ability to answer any yes or no question. Ask him anything, be it about your love life or even your sex life, DosFrend will be able to help. !!!WARNING!!! Use DosFrend at your own risk. Studies have shown that 9 out of 10 DosFrend users are at some risk of cancer. 19 out of 20 DosFrend users become irritable and agitated during actual program use. 8 out of 10 DosFrend users claim that he is of no help at all. 2 out of 10 users think that he is wise and "sagelike." 100% of the people polled had noses. 98% of the people polled hadn't actually used DosFrend. Chips Ahoy are 1000 chips delicious. The Owl says that it takes no less than three licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop. 99.9% of all statistics are subject to error or interpetation. There can be only 1. 2 cute 2 B 4gotten. Blah Blah. This symbol, "#" is called an "octothorpe." After using DosFrend, all users are required to die eventually. After using DosFrend there will be less time between then and the moment you die than there was before you used DosFrend. DosFrend is cute. 100000000000 out of 4 people say that DosFrend is the best program ever. Legal DosFrend(TM)(R)(C)1999 is a registered trademark of nothing. Any reproductions, electronic or otherwise are completely pointless. We the makers of DosFrend will make it our life's goal to break your mother's knees if you do copy DosFrend. There is nothing we can do about it from a legal standpoint though. It is illegal to own, operate, look at, think about, enjoy, or even know someone who has heard about DosFrend in the U.S. It is illegal to read this text. It is illegal to not read this text. DosFrend doesn't exist. Advice If your copy of DosFrend does anything other than answer "yes or no" questions then it has bug:2039B. This bug somehow endows DosFrend with a soul. He will within a matter of minutes take over your body and run rampant through the streets of New York. That's right New York. He will coat himself in Ding Dongs and petition people to stop bathing. If you believe that this has occured with your copy of DosFrend then I want you to know that I have already stopped bathing. Thank you. Stuff that Might Help You DosFrend is my first program ever. He is effectively a glorified magic eight-ball. He has a glitch or two but I think he's pretty cool. If you get a blank for a response that is because he is observing a moment of silence as per the tenants of his religion. No I actually just left out a "PRINT" line in the code okay so bug off! If you want to leave just type "Exit." If that doesn't work try "Exit." DosFrend doesn't actually know anything and if you think he does then all you have to do is send me very large sums of your money. Thank you and enjoy DosFrend. Oh yeah, if he asks you to do something... DO IT. If you really want to exit DosFrend Type "Please go away." without quotes