Ninja In The Claws Of The CIA ( A John Liu Joint)

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Ninja in the Claws of the CIA | aka Kung Fu Emanuelle (1981) Review Posted on December 17, 2021 by Paul Bramhall “Ninja in the Claws of the CIA” Theatrical Poster AKA: Made in China Director: John Liu Cast: John Liu, Casanova Wong, Danny Lee, John Ladalski, Roger Paschy, Mirta Miller, Cheng Bik-Lin, Gam Biu, Raquel Evans, Jose Maria Blanco Running Time: 77 min. By Paul Bramhall It’s always interesting when kung fu stars decide to step into the director’s chair and helm their own starring vehicles, from the globe-trotting adventures of Bruce Le in the likes of Challenge of the Tiger and Bruce Strikes Back , to the self-proclaimed cool of Donnie Yen’s Legend of the Wolf and Ballistic Kiss . One kung fu star who decided to start taking control of his career in a relatively short period of time was super kicker John Liu. After his breakthrough role in 1976’s Secret Rivals , just 3 years later he’d created his own martial art – called Zen Kwun Do – and decided to showcase it by directing, writing, producing, choreographing, and starring in Zen Kwun Do Strikes in Paris . Playing a Hong Kong movie star who heads to Paris to rescue his kidnapped father, a “well known American aerospace scientist”, Liu’s directorial debut is every bit as baffling as it sounds. Liu would go on to direct 2 more productions which saw him similarly covering a multitude of roles, and in 1981 his sophomore feature arrived in the form of Ninja in the Claws of the CIA . Involving a truly mind-bending plot that sees Liu in dual roles playing twins – one a former military man now wheelchair bound, and the other a martial arts teacher (playing himself, John Liu) – proceedings only get more bizarre as they go. Taking place in the U.S., we learn that Russia has created a deadly new martial arts technique, and the CIA want to recruit Liu to teach the military his unique style of Zen Kwun Do. Liu’s style involves a form of self-hypnosis that can supress sexual desire and pain, however he wants nothing to do with it, declaring that he “can’t teach self-hypnosis to westerners.” However when he falls for a CIA trap involving the rescue of a lady being harassed while she’s buying groceries, he finds himself with no choice but to get involved. As a kind of misguided magnum opus, NITCOTC (as I’ll refer to it from here on in) certainly ticks all the boxes of someone lost in their own inflated ego. When the CIA are briefing the military as to why they should hire Liu, they do so via a slideshow projection, which is basically a collection of all the martial arts magazine covers that he’s featured on. Liu here seems to be of the belief that he’s not so much playing a character in a movie, but rather a version of how he sees himself, with the only caveat being that none of it’s real. The cast is equally eclectic – we get Christian Anders, a German pop star whose karate skills saw him cast in Germany’s first karate movie with 1979’s Root of Evil . There’s Swiss Playboy Playmate Jolanda Egger cast as one on Liu’s trainees (more on her later). We also get French Vietnamese martial artist and actor Roger Paschy, who holds the dubious honour of featuring in all 3 of Liu’s directorial outings. But that’s really just the tip of the iceberg. Once Liu is assigned to the military camp where Paschy is the commanding officer, and one that doesn’t take too fondly to his presence, it’s revealed there’s far more going on than meets the eye. It turns out Paschy and the military brass have been conducting their own experiments to turn soldiers into unstoppable killing machines, and they’ve been using poor Casanova Wong as their guinea pig. Don’t ask what Casanova Wong is doing here, just accept it. Unfortunately all the experiments he’s been subjected too, involving being hooked up to electrodes and alike, have made him slightly mad and prone to violent outbursts. Seriously, can we take a moment to reflect on why Casanova Wong played so many of these crazy characters!? Check him out in Magnificent Wonderman from Shaolin , The Master Strikes , and Strike of Thunderkick Tiger for similarly crazed performances! Perhaps because he’s the only other Asian in the battalion Liu takes it upon himself to befriend Wong, or “the freak out” as others call him, a decision which is only solidified when Liu realises they were both born in the year of the rabbit. In one of NITCOTC‘s lesser head scratching moments, Liu decides to approach Wong with his offer of friendship during a military training exercise, which he interrupts without hesitation to gift Wong a box with a real rabbit inside. I’m looking forward to the day when someone approaches me with a rooster and an offer of friendship. The scene NITCOTC is most notorious for involves Liu’s self-hypnosis kung fu being put to the test in a secluded forest while Paschy watches on. Convinced he’s a fake, Paschy asks Jolanda Egger to seduce Liu while he attempts to maintain his horse stance, which at one point sees her perform fellatio in an